A searchable, downloadable PDF of the original article, with pictures from the wedding, appears below. Mark Dickens is an adherent of St. Giles Church, Prince George, B.C. In this special section – “A Wedding Album” – we wish to present a model for all those considering marriage. We include an article by the bride’s brother, photographs, wedding program, sermon, and a song – all filling out the picture of a wedding, thoroughly planned and prayed over, as an example to those who follow.
It seems that God intends marriage to serve a dual purpose. It is at one and the same time God’s provision for intimate companionship between two human beings, since “it is not good for man [or, for that matter, woman] to be alone” (Gen. 2:18), and a type of the sort of relationship that He desires to have with us (Eph. 5:22-33). Thus it is only fitting that the wedding ceremony which marks the beginning of the marriage relationship should celebrate this dual focus on the couple who are to be united as “one flesh”, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who is our heavenly Bridegroom. Such was the wedding ceremony of Mark and Lynn Lane, which took place Monday. August 5th at St. Gile’s Presbyterian Church in Prince George, B.C. I would like to give you the impressions of one who, as the brother of the bride, was quite involved in the events leading up to and surrounding the actual wedding ceremony, in the hopes that this will provide some inspiration and practical suggestions in planning a truly Christ-centered wedding.
From their initial meeting and throughout their ensuing courtship, it was evident that Mark and Lynn’s relationship was centered around their devotion to Jesus as Lord of their lives and hence the One who would be the preeminent “partner” in their future marriage. They met at an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship retreat and soon developed a close friendship. From the beginning it was a relationship which expressed the sort of love that desires to bring in “outsiders”, such that Mark and Lynn often found themselves, as a couple, sharing the gospel with those that they met on the bus. on the street or in church, ultimately resulting in the formation of a weekly home fellowship and bible study group, attended by a variety of those they had met, including “seekers”, new believers and more mature Christians. Although they had the usual trials and crises of an engaged couple, they sought to constantly work through their differences and keep Christ at the center of their relationship. Thus, their relationship even at this stage was characterized by the words of Ecclesiastes: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labour. … A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart” (Eccl. 4 : 9,12). Thus, the moving wedding ceremony which occurred was merely an extension of two lives already committed to glorifying God.
Needless to say, wedding preparations were begun well in advance (four months before the “big day”) and much of the success of the event was due to extensive and meticulous planning. Both Lynn and her mother had binders with different sections dealing with the various aspects of planning (e.g. Ceremony. Music. Rehearsal Dinner, Reception, Accommodations, Food, Thank You’s, Decorations, Photography, etc.) so as to keep track of what needed to be done. Certainly, one of the biggest factors contributing to the blessedness of the day was the involvement of many members of the congregation who generously gave their gifts of art. music, baking and organizing to make it truly a “family affair”. Without these contributions, the wedding would not have been what it was. As part of the preparations, Mark and Lynn sent out a package containing a letter of greeting, itinerary and city map to all the out-of-town guests several weeks before the wedding. As the day approached, our family set aside time each morning for a devotional on marriage, led by Lynn, for the express purpose of keeping our minds on “the big picture” of what God was doing in Mark and Lynn’s relationship and not getting caught up in all the last minute details.
The last few nights before the actual ceremony were set apart as times of fellowship and rejoicing. On Saturday night, a bachelor’s party was held for Mark, a time for feasting on pizza, pop and “junkfood” and playing a rollicking game of “Risk”. The Sunday night was the occasion of the rehearsal dinner, held in a local restaurant. This was again a time of celebration as we played a version of “The Newlywed Game”. Questions were asked of either Mark or Lynn, such as, “Lynn, when is Mark’s birthday?” “Mark, if you had a choice between three different dresses (these were described in detail), which one would you buy for her?”, “Mark, if you won a trip to either Hawaii, Greece or Nepal, where would Lynn like to go?”, “Lynn, if you had a choice of three different places to spend a relaxed weekend (these were also described in detail), where would you go?” The person questioned would give his or her answer and then the other one would give the correct answer. It made for some pretty humourous situations (especially when neither one knew the other’s birthday!). Throughout the evening, Mark and Lynn were able to share about how God had worked in their relationship, thus showing that spirituality and fun needn’t be separate from each other, as well as showing the non-Christians there that God has a sense of humour also and that His people know how to “have a good time”. It was truly a time of laughter and joy.
Well, the big day finally arrived and all was ready. The sanctuary was simply decorated with pew bows and a few streamers and there was “standing room only”. The congregation had been invited to attend both the worship service and the reception. The ceremony had many of the traditional elements of a wedding, but the focus was always on the Lord. It was a celebration of what He was doing, as evidenced in the title on the bulletin – “A service of worship to our Heavenly Father celebrating the marriage of Mark Hayden Lane and Lynn Catherine Dickens.” Thus, after the entrance of the bridal party, the service began with a call to worship (Rev. 21:3,5a,6), followed by the singing of various hymns and choruses, including “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty”, “Alpha and Omega”, and “I Love You, Lord”. These were in turn interspersed with prayers for the couple, an explanation of the meaning of marriage, and the blessing of the parents. This was followed by the traditional exchanging of vows and rings and the lighting of a “unity” candle. The two white candles representing Mark and Lynn’s individual lives had been lit from a single red one representing Jesus, the Light of the World (John 8:12). After lighting the candle which symbolized the fact that “the two had become one” (Matt. 19:5), they left their two candles alight, signifying that, though they are joined together, they have not snuffed out their individuality. Before describing the rest of the service, I think it would be fitting to share the vows that Mark and Lynn wrote together for each other. They were not just repeated by rote, but said with full sincerity and conviction, as a result of much prayer and meditation on the meaning of what was being said.
After much prayer and preparation, we had witnessed a wedding which whetted our appetites for ‘‘the marriage supper of the Lamb.”
This central portion of the ceremony was followed by the singing of the song “Brother (Sister), let me be your servant” and the message, given by Pastor Hans Kouwenberg. During the development of their relationship, the Lord had given them a scripture as a theme for their future marriage – “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it” (Ps. 127:1). As their individual lives were already founded on Christ, the solid Rock, so they intended that their marriage would also be built by the Lord. As a prelude to the message. Psalm 127 was read out. as well as I Peter 2:4,5 and Ephesians 2:19-22. Hans then elaborated on the theme verse, speaking of the absolute necessity of Jesus Christ being the center of a marriage, if it is truly to be all that God intends it to be. This was followed by another hymn, “Take my life and let it be” and the blessing of the couple. After the signing of the legal documents, the best man, Philip Spencer, sang a song that he had written (musically and lyrically) dedicated to Mark and Lynn, and the bridal party left the sanctuary for formal photographs on the church lawn.
While the photographs were being taken, and as people were waiting for the reception to begin, there was opportunity for the guests to give a greeting to Mark and Lynn on video (the whole service was videotaped), to sign the guest book, and to view a collage which had been made to symbolize the joining together of Mark and Lynn’s lives. Pictures of the couple, both as individuals in early years and later, and together more recently, had been taped on to the outline of two interlocking hearts.
The reception was held in the church hall, which was decorated with streamers, posters and a banner over the head table. The posters were made from construction paper and featured four simple designs: a cross, a dove, two hearts, and two rings. The banner was also made from construction paper and featured Psalm 127:1, Mark and Lynn’s theme verse. After the entrance of the bridal party, introductions, and grace there was a time of eating, during which time praise music tapes were played in the background, in order to maintain a spiritually-edifying atmosphere throughout the reception. After the guests had had adequate time to eat (it was not a full course meal, but many ladies in the church had volunteered their time and energy to bake and prepare food platters), the speeches began. Mark and Lynn chose two members of the bridal party to give the toast to the bride and the toast to the groom. Elizabeth Baldwin, one of the bridesmaids and a longtime friend of Lynn, related various humorous accounts of experiences that she had shared with Lynn, all the way from dressing up in old clothes as children to last summer, when Lynn declared her intentions – to remain “single for the Lord” (just a couple of months before she met Mark). Philip Spencer, the best man and a mutual friend of both Mark and Lynn, then proceeded to tell us all about Mark and his courtship with Lynn. Following this, we were all treated to a rendition of an old Burl Ives folk song by Lynn’s mom and dad. The song described the encounter of a young man with his true love’s irate grandmother and it had special significance in that my dad had sung it to my mom when they were courting many years ago. Everybody loved it and they got a standing ovation. After this, Mark rose to speak, not to give the traditional response of the groom, but rather to give honour to Jesus Christ, the One who had brought the two of them together and upon whom their marriage was built. In this way. all three “partners” in their marriage were honoured and glory was given to God as the reason why we were all able to celebrate at this wedding. This was in turn followed by an “open floor”, in which different ones were invited to come up to a microphone and give a greeting or to recount some incident about Mark and Lynn, and, the reading of various telegrams which had been received for Mark and Lynn from friends and relatives. During the “open floor” a number of people came up to share a scripture, a greeting, a word of encouragement or some sound advice for the new couple. Different ones shared how they had been touched by Mark and Lynn’s lives and it added a really personal touch to the event. Part of the success of this time was due to the fact that several people had been prompted prior to the reception, so they had time to prepare something to say.
Music played a significant part in the wedding celebration, as Mark and Lynn wanted all present to be able to enter into the celebration. There were three special musical numbers following the speeches. The first was “His Banner Over Me”, performed by a group of about fifteen young children from the church, most of whom Lynn had befriended or babysat over the past several years. As the kids sang the chorus. “God loves you and I love you and that’s the way it should be – Hallelujah!”, many in the hall, both Christians and non-Christians. were obviously ministered to. This was followed by “The Wedding Prayer”, sung by a good friend of Lynn’s from the church. I know that the words were truly expressive of Mark and Lynn’s prayers:
Lord, take our lives
As two who love you join as one,
And let our love grow
As your love grows in us;
Bind us together
So we learn how to trust in you.
(Wendy and Mary)
The last song was extra special in that it was given to Lynn by the Lord. Called “Arise, My Darling”, the words were taken from the Song of Solomon, the most beautiful love poem ever written, and were expressive of not only Mark and Lynn’s love for each other, but also their love for Jesus. As two others sang the song, Mark and Lynn acted out the parts.dancing first of all by themselves and then together. Again, many people were obviously touched.
The reception closed with thank you’s to all who had contributed, participated and attended and a final word of prayer, after which the cake was cut and distributed, the bride’s bouquet was tossed, and the bride and groom left for some last minute informal photos and “the escape car”. It was truly a glorious day and many came up to us afterward to say what a meaningful time it had been. After much prayer and preparation, we had witnessed a wedding which whetted our appetites for “the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Rev. 19:6-9).