A searchable, downloadable PDF of the original article, with a picture of Ian Rennie speaking at the 1985 Regent College Convocation, appears below. Ian S. Rennie is Dean of Ontario Theological Seminary.
I am sure that for the next few generations at least the nature of the ministry of women in the church is going to continue to be a matter of major concern. As a result we are constantly pressed into considering the subject.
One matter that has concerned me is that in the subject of women in ministry, women often seem to be considered as single, and if they are married and have children then these relationships appear as irrelevant or as impediments. Yet if marriage is a miracle of God where two people are substantively made one, then surely this reality must have a foremost place in considering the ministry of women in particular. And, by implication, of course, it must be of crucial significance when dealing with the ministry of married men as well. For married people, men and women, their unity must take precedence over their diversity.
The particular trial balloon that I would like to float is that we should consider that married people as elders on sessions should operate as a husband and wife team. If one of the main responsibilities of the session is pastoral – a kind of spiritual parenting – then it would seem to me that parenting is best done when the husband and wife are both committed to it together, are both involved in it, and are both bringing their diverse strengths to this vital task. This is not to say that there cannot be single parents, but it is to say that married parents should operate as a unit in all forms of parenting, be it domestic or ecclesiastic, familial or spiritual.
I am sure that we have all seen the effectiveness of husband and wife parenting in the Christian life, and most of us have been affected by it. The ministry of ministers and their spouses, elders and their spouses, who have loved the congregation, prayed for those associated with it, and opened their lives and homes to those in need of mature guidance and personal growth, has been a real means of grace. And as we look at thriving congregations today very often the same pattern holds, as we should well expect that it would. So I am not trying to instigate something entirely new, but rather to regularize and encourage something which is always needed, and never more so than now.
To be more specific, I would recommend that at least once a year all spouses of session members be invited to a day-away session meeting where the needs of the members of the congregation would be the major subject of concern, where input from all would be encouraged, with the simple rule that all is in confidence. There would be no voting and normally no decision-making; but if some conclusion seemed necessary then consensus would be essential. In this way valuable insight would be shared and the parenting ministry of the session encouraged.
Other sessions might wish to go further, with all spouses in active participation at all session meetings, with all married couples having only one vote, and with, of course, the right to refrain from voting.
Undoubtedly there are those who would see this as a retrograde step, particularly remembering the old complaint that an active minister’s wife meant that the congregation gets two people for the price of one, and that in this arrangement the spouse had no choice. But I think that in most places we are well beyond that mentality today, and we must not let reactions of the sixties govern us in the eighties.
Today we live in a society where people are crying out for strong family life, and the church is almost the only place where they can find encouragement and modelling. It is. of course, the only place that they can find God’s plan for family life. And, thank God, many of these young families are showing up in church, looking for help. They are not turned off by a healthy family emphasis – that is exactly what they are looking for. They would also want, as would we, that it be without chauvinism and the idolatry of marriage. How wonderful to have elders and spouses to welcome such people, give them both social and spiritual parenting, and see them grow as strong Christian family units.
At least one final question should probably be mentioned – what about the spouses of elders, both husbands and wives, who don’t want the job of spiritual parenting? I am sure for existing session members all that can be done is to extend the invitation to their spouses and leave it at that. But as far as future session members are concerned, the willingness of the spouse to participate should be considered. And this would seem to comport with the qualifications of eldership listed in 1 Timothy 3, where the partnership of husband and wife seems clearly implied, in such areas as hospitality and domestic life. In fact it is interesting that the first specific qualification mentioned for elders concerns the subject of marriage.