A searchable, downloadable PDF of the original article, with a picture from the wedding, appears below. A sermon for the marriage of Mark Hayden Lane and Lynn Catherine Dickens – Psalm 127:1
Mark and Lynn have chosen Psalm 127:1 as a biblical motto for their marriage. It reads this way in the RSV: “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build labour in vain.” How good it is to find young people who wish to start life together with a clear word from the Lord! How good it is to find young Christians who wish to base their lives together on clear Christian principles! How good it is to find those who wish to honour Jesus Christ as the foundation of their faith and lives as they come together in that unique life-building event which we call marriage!
The text finds itself in a psalm which was written many years ago as part of a series of psalms – “Psalms of Ascents” – (actually, Psalms 120-134) which were uttered or sung as faithful pilgrims made their way to the Temple in Jerusalem. Psalm 127 and the one immediately following it, particularly celebrate the dedication of the family home to the Lord. It is fitting then that these words should have been inscribed on the wedding invitations that some of you received. As you came to the house of the Lord to celebrate the founding of this new household, we hope the opening words of this Psalm were on your minds and hearts. And hereafter, we hope that they will not only be the Bible’s and Mark’s and Lynn’s words, but your words too.
What can I tell you about these opening words of this Psalm today? In many ways they are so self-evident and plain. But let me seek to help to get into them a little deeper. I’d like to consider the opening verse in two parts: “Unless the Lord builds the house I those who build labour in vain . . .”
1. “Unless the Lord builds the house…”
Frankly, how many people today put the Lord first and foremost, where He belongs, in their lives? How many of us plan for what we want to plan and do what we want to do and then, maybe, almost as a kind of afterthought, ask for the Lord’s blessing? And yet should not the Architect and Builder of our lives have the preeminent part?
Someone has said, the “one particular part which the [psalmist] wants to throw into relief in order to produce a lasting impression is the decisive significance of God’s actions in [our] everyday life. The poet’s eyes are so firmly focussed on this one thought that everything else seems to recede into the background beside it, and he describes as futile all human labour and cares which leave God out of account.” Indeed, “the verdict ‘in vain’ which is passed three times on man’s literally ‘Godless’ activities sounds quite sinister and shattering” (A. Weiser, pp. 764, 765). For the one who is faithful to the God of the Bible there is no other choice but to put God first. Then one’s relationship to one’s nearest and dearest, and then one’s relationship to all the other people and preoccupations of life are put into perspective.
Isn’t it God who has given us life and breath? Isn’t it God, the author of “every good endowment and every perfect gift” (Jas. 1:17a), who gives gifts of personality and beauty and wit? Isn’t it God who in Jesus Christ shows and tells of fine character traits of mercy and forgiveness, of sacrifice and service, and Who by His Holy Spirit leads us to have “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23)? Isn’t it God who as “the author and finisher of our faith” (Heb. 12:2), keeps us going in the face of difficulties and disappointments. disease and death? Isn’t it God, who has made us and who offers to remake us through His Son, our Saviour and Lord, who knows what’s best for us? Shouldn’t we start out and continue our life together, shouldn’t we consider our thoughts and hopes and dreams for the future together with Him and His purposes in mind?
Unless we do this, “unless the Lord builds the house . . .” the psalmist warns us; unless His priorities are a part of our goals and aims – may we not risk pursuing the wrong ambitions? May we not end up finding that we have gone the wrong way? May we not risk discovering that we have lived and loved, that we have engaged and occupied, that we have accumulated and achieved “in vain”? “Unless the Lord” is recognized as the Lord of our lives we may not be able to weather it through “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish until death do [us] part.” Thank God that He is and that He is with us! Thank God that He has come and that He will never leave us or forsake us! Thank God that He has given us some clues as to what life’s all about in His word!
We all need to work at our marriages and family lives every day of our lives… Thank God that He is there to sustain and help us.
Someone else has said that “one of the most telling features of this short poem is that it singles out three of our most universal preoccupations – building, security and raising a family – and makes us ask what they all amount to, and to whom we owe them” (D. Kidner, p.440). Haven’t we discovered that our most precious “possessions” are our God and kith and kin?
Almost everyone I marry is interested in getting a house with a garage and a car or two, perhaps a boat as well (building), in having a good job, with not too many hours please (security), and in some time later, having some children (family). But few people I marry think beyond this basic outline of married bliss. Few think of the differences between what we actually “need” and “want” and how this can affect our lives and lifestyles. Few think much about the values, the religious values and priorities involved in budgeting how time and money together are spent. Few think of others beyond their own family grouping: those who are in spiritual and emotional and physical need. Few have any idea or care less about how the other five-sixths of this fragile world live and die. Few discuss the deep things of life. Few think and talk about God who cares deeply for the people of this planet and to whom we will one day all render an account.
Unless the Lord builds the house… – I’m glad that Mark and Lynn have thought and talked about these and many other things. I’m impressed that they have deliberately chosen a simple lifestyle and that they have a real desire to do what they are discovering God wants them to do. I’m glad that they take the Scriptures seriously. I’m awed that they have made the life of community: the church community and the community of the world their home. Perhaps they, like we, have a lot to learn, but they’re well on the way! I pray that the God who is first in their lives will bless them.
2. “Unless the Lord builds the house / those who build it labour in vain.”
Let me spend a few moments on the second portion of the opening verse before I conclude. I do not want you, Mark and Lynn, or anyone else either, to get the impression that putting the Lord first in the building of married and family life in any way takes away from our personal responsibilities for it. The radical formulation, “Unless the Lord build the house”, “has been chosen in order to effect a radical renunciation of an attitude of mind which is so absorbed in work and worries that it loses sight of God’s providence and His effect on life, [But] we should therefore be mistaken if we were to take the words of the psalm as meaning that work as such is unnecessary. Of course, the author knows that no building can take place without labor of man’s hands. . .’’ (Weiser, p. 765). Marriage building is work. And one day’s success does not guarantee another day’s. We all need to work at our marriages and family lives every day of our lives. Notice that the verb describing those who build the house is “labour”. Marriage is hard work. That is not to say that there are no compensatory factors: a “coffee break” now and then, a little loving here and there. But the art of communication: of listening well and of expressing truly and clearly one’s feelings as well as one’s thoughts, will take struggle and pain and effort. Moreover the things that “worked” for you in courting: special times alone, special words and special gifts, will still need to be worked at. Other “labours of love” may be: to do the unexpected; to be a help to each other; to set aside personal concerns, at least occasionally, to take initiative to love. And who does not know the labour of biting your tongue, avoiding unkind and unjust criticism and working at offering genuine compliments and expressing appropriate praise and respect?
Thank God that He is there to sustain and help us. And that He is willing to forgive us when we fail! Thank God that Christian folk may consult together with Him in confession and prayer! “Without God work becomes hardship and care becomes anxious worry . . .” (Weiser, p.765). But with Him the battles and the burdens may be resolved. And then, thank God, that at the end of the day, “He gives to His beloved sleep” (Ps. 127:2c RSV). Truly, “unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labour in vain”! But if He builds and we build, what a building it will be!