A searchable, downloadable PDF of the original article appears below. Roberta Hestenes is Associate Professor and Director of Christian Formation and Discipleship at Fuller Theological Seminary. This article appeared first in TSF Bulletin for November-December 1984. Used with permission.

The biblical promise and possibility of personal spiritual renewal is broader than any simple definition. In the Old Testament, “renewal” seems to carry a meaning of restoration and repair – putting right that which has been broken or disrupted (I Sam. 11:14; I Chron. 15:8; Psalm 51:10, 104:30; Lam. 5:21). Renewal of strength is seen as drawn from waiting upon the Lord (Isa. 40:31; 41:1), watching and listening in expectant anticipation for the powerful action of the creative and energizing Lord of the nations.

In the New Testament, renewal is used to speak both of the initial Christian experience of the working of God – “regeneration and renewal in the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:5) – and of the subsequent work where daily the Christian experiences the transforming power of God (2 Cor. 4:16; Col. 3:10; Eph. 4:23; Rom. 12:1-2). Renewal is both that which is given to us and accomplished in us by God and a reality we seek and a process to which we give ourselves.

In this paper I will focus on one of the ingredients of personal renewal – a “broken and contrite heart”. In addition, I will explore a few of the dangers along the way for even the experienced traveler. Three key texts form the center of my exploration:

Psalm 51: especially verses 10-12 and 17: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. . . . The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

Matthew 5:6: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”

James 4:6 (quoting Psalm 138 and Proverbs 3): “ ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God.”

I want to center on the theme of “brokenness” as an ingredient in renewal, drawing on David’s statement, “A broken and contrite spirit you will not despise.” It may seem strange to speak of brokenness to contemporary Christians who live in an age constantly stressing self-actualization and self-fulfillment. Here are a group of people, many of whom are eager, committed, bright and energetic – successful according to many definitions of the word. Yet David also knew something of striving and success. It was in the middle of that success that the occasion for this psalm arises. It comes out of a devastating experience in David’s life. It had begun with adultery and deception, had moved to trickery and murder, had resulted in confrontation and exposure, and the death of a child. The hidden sin was known and David was devastated.

In this response of David’s there are some lessons for us:

1) The reality of temptation for even the most spiritual of persons in the most spiritual of places. David lived in the holy city, the resting place of the ark. Spiritual history and spiritual status provide no safe security. They are not impermeable barriers to temptation and sin. David loved God, but he sinned.

2) The necessity of the community of God’s people willing to “speak the truth in love” to help us face ourselves and to know the holiness and the love of God. The dangers of isolation and personal lack of accountability in the midst of large numbers of people can only be overcome through the maintenance of a few significant relationships where the truth, even if unwelcomed, can be said and heard.

3) The reminder that the work we do for God and our study about God is no substitute for the holy life lived in vital relationship with God. It is important not to coast on our spiritual history, but to maintain a fresh, ongoing personal fellowship with God.

4) The forgiving and renewing mercy of God available at the deepest points of our need. This renewal comes in prayer, waiting for and seeking God.

In our day which emphasizes self-confidence, self-assertion and self-fulfillment, we need to learn again the lessons of brokenness – of humility and gentleness before God and each other.

In the face of exposed sin, David confessed and repented. He knew the value of a heart humbled before God. In our day which emphasizes self-confidence, self-assertion and self-fulfillment, we need to learn again the lessons of brokenness – of humility and gentleness before God and each other. This “brokenness” speaks not of self-worthlessness nor a malformed personality, nor deep clinical depression. It points toward a deeper reality, the response to a prompting of the Spirit in certain circumstances of need, demand, or spiritual yearning and hunger. Brokenness is a yielded heart open before God, a heart emptied of pride and self claims, of all arrogance, knowing our sin, our self-deception, our frailly, weakness and inadequacy. We discover ourselves again to be hungry and thirsty, poor and needy when we had thought ourselves full and needing nothing. Along with this awareness comes a re-discovery of God’s love, mercy and forgiveness – His affirmation of us, care for us. and claim upon us.

Spiritual brokenness can come in different ways:

1) A vision of God. Isaiah sees the Lord “high and lifted up” and sees his own uncleanness and the uncleanness of the people of God. “Woe is me,” he exclaims. Receiving the cleansing of God, he is able to hear and respond to the call of God upon his life – “Here I am; send me.” But his ministry follows his heightened awareness of the holiness of God and his own sin.

2) A desire to be blessed. Jacob wrestled with God – “I will not let you go unless you bless me” – and emerges wounded and blessed to become Israel, the prince of God. In his encounter with God, he must acknowledge his identity as Jacob the deceiver before receiving the new name and promise.

3) An awareness of weakness, failure or sin, as we see in David in Psalm 51.

4) An encounter with Christ. Saul on the Damascus Road: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It hurts you to kick against the goads.” The proud Pharisee is led blind and defenseless into the city he had planned to enter as an avenging power. Later in seeking to have his “thorn in the flesh” removed, he is taught again by Jesus, “My strength is made perfect in weakness. My grace is sufficient for you.”

5) The providential circumstances beyond my control – where we sense no alternatives, feel boxed in, cornered, no way to go, no where to go – as Job did when he lost all only to recover after a vision of God.

God wants to teach us the lessons of brokenness, not that He wants us to be weak, but so that we may know our weakness before we lean too hard on ourselves, depend on ourselves, or take an exalted view of self instead of the sober assessment required. God wants us to discover continually the true source of our strength – His Spirit and His power. Brokenness is not the opposite of wholeness; it is the continuing precondition for it. It is related to being “tender-hearted” (Eph. 4:32) and “gentleness,” one of the fruits of the Spirit. It is part of the movement from pride to humility.

Sometimes we become aware of our own complicity in our brokenness. Sometimes we feel God is, even unjustly, doing this to us (as Job complained in chapter 17). Yet whether through brokenness or by other paths, we seek an openness to all that God offers. Renewal is a gateway to new possibilities, new beginnings.

The realities and dangers that can harden or soften us as we seek an awareness of the reality of God are diverse. We are hardened instead of softened when we:

1) Make excuses for our sin or for our shallowness. “I couldn’t help it. I had no choice.” We are softened when we confess and receive the faithful forgiveness of God (I John 1:9).

2) Blame someone else; refusing to take our share of responsibility. “They” are the problem.

3) Defend our actions as right or the only thing we could have done under the circumstances when in our hidden selves, a tremor warns us that all is or was not as we put it forth.

4) Ignore the tender shoots, the hidden promptings of the Spirit, to confess, make right, risk honesty or try love. This ignoring of the prompting of the Spirit can lead to hardness, brittleness, callousness, or insensitivity. It may cause us to miss the Kairos, the special time of God’s acting. It is like those who are deaf in the higher ranges of sound. We simply lose the discernment to hear the Spirit unless He yells to us in the middle range. Can we hear the whisperings of the Spirit?

5) Fill our lives with activity, but are left empty of God.

Brokenness is only one part of the wholeness of Christian experience with its joy, peace, and power in the Holy Spirit. Awareness of it may be fleeting, but it is a gracious gift from God. For a moment our pride is shattered. We know ourselves and amazingly discover that the real selves we are, these very selves are loved, empowered, renewed. From that discovery and rediscovery flows healing, wholeness, and transforming newness.

In the midst of our comings and goings and our planning and programs, there are times, sometimes in solitude and sometimes in community, when we come to know our emptiness that we might be made full.

Remember that we are not loved for our success or our spirituality. All is of grace. We follow a Saviour who one night in the Upper Room told us and the next day showed us that He was broken for us. Broken for us: an undeserved death in our place that we might be made whole in Him. This is our journey of renewal. It begins and continues in such great love. Broken before Him, we are continually made new and whole in Him.