A searchable, downloadable PDF of the original article appears below. Esther McIlveen is a free-lance writer living in Richmond, B.C.

Have you ever thought what you would like to see written on your epitaph? For what would you like to be remembered?

My epitaph message has changed many times over the years. At one time I wanted to be known as an Abraham — “friend of God,” then as a Praying Hyde or a Sarah “mother of spiritual children.” Wouldn’t it be great to write like Frank Peretti and make people laugh when he speaks? I’ve heard him and he is funnier than Bill Cosby. More recently, though, I’ve thought about being a Barnabas. The disciples changed his name from Joseph to Barnabas which means “Son of Encouragement.” Barnabas was an encourager through his words and actions. He was the one who affirmed and accepted Paul when the Christian community was afraid of him. He sold a piece of property and made the funds available to the church. He was willing to give John Mark (a deserter) a second chance. Yes, I would like to be like him.

As a writer, I watch the mail pretty carefully — those large manilla envelopes can either put you over the top or make your day a downer.

Not long ago I was down on my knees — not to pray, but to sort through the mail — when I spotted a letter addressed to Mother Lioness. “As I was pouring through the journals of the William Bennett Library (at Simon Fraser University), among the social science indexes I came upon a rather familiar name! Can it really be you?! Oh Mother Lioness, I am so proud of you” — signed from a most dedicated fan. The letter came from my daughter Kirsten. She had spotted my name on a Canadian Periodical Index.

The letter made me want to do a somersault or a tap dance routine.

Encouragement makes you want to reach, it makes you want to contribute or blow bubbles or scatter rose petals on parched and shriveled souls.

Psychologist Carl Rogers acknowledged, “When I am not prized, or not appreciated, I not only feel diminished, I am greatly diminished in my behavior. When I am prized, I blossom, I expand… In a group which is hostile or unappreciative, I am just not much of anything.”

A Vancouver psychologist, Paddy Ducklow says, “Families that catch children doing well, will produce children who are achievers.”

I thought of our various churches, gifted as we are, with children and wondered if we used more encouragement with our children, if we might not have a John Wesley, or a Mother Teresa, or a Jean Vanier, or a William Kurelek, or a Helen Roseveare or a Bruce Cockburn.

Children and adults alike blossom and grow when the atmosphere is full of encouragement — when we determine to seek to draw forth each other’s gifts and delight in them.

In the book of Hebrews we are called to encourage each other daily so that our hearts be kept tender, in order that we can keep on our spiritual journey.

Barnabas showed that encouragement is accepting people who are different from ourselves; it involves financial sacrifice, and going out of our way to give someone a second chance.

Sounds like heaven, you say? But then isn’t that how we pray? “May thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”